Sturgeons Shittiest Company Award '10

Posted: 2010-09-23
Category: Personal

Let's face it, none of us like dealing with big companies. Long waiting times, script reading Indian call centers, uncaring supervisors and red tape. In the last two months I have had several experiences beyond ridiculous so I thought I'd share my list of companies that have pissed me off and why.

Barclays Underwriting Department

I don't care how awesome your hold music is, 20 minute waits are not acceptable. Especially when I've had to call you 7 times in the space of a few days. 

Apple Finance

Applying for a Macbook Pro with finance really should not be this difficult. Apple managed to mess up my application by giving Barclays Finance my wrong name and address... TWICE! Both were accepted but with the wrong address I couldn't sign the contract. When they finally got my address correct my credit rating had been lowered so much by the first two applications that my third application was declined!

I had to shout quite a bit at Joel Apple Finance and some guy in the Barclays Underwriting Department to get that fixed. MBP incoming, but this has taken a week to do what should have taken a few hours!

Virgin Media

This company is a fucking joke on so many levels.

This week was a ridiculous problem with me trying to find out what settings I would need to set up my router after a reset. Are they using DHCP? PPPoE? PPPoV? Who knows, so I phoned up. I had 4 people try to explain to me that I needed to set up Wi-Fi to get it working. Bare in mind I am using a Linux server hardwired into my router 5 meters away, and this was working perfectly beforefar side MidvaleSchoolForTheGifted I reset the router to factory default. I gave in and let them talk me through the WiFi setup, then when that magically didnt work they decided that I needed a new router. RETARDED!

Their worst offense was about a year ago. I switched from BT to Virgin and had to wait 8 weeks while they did some construction work to get a cable to my door. Fair enough, I can wait 8 weeks. The problem was the company that handled the construction just pretended to do the work and didn't actually bother. Virgin had to apply for planning permission: another 8 week wait. Repeat this process 3 or 4 times and I ended up waiting SIX MONTHS for internet. As a web developer, having the internet is slightly more than fucking convenient, good work guys.

A very similar problem has left me with the wrong home phone number for 4 months. I'll have moved out again before they get that bloody number switched over!

The winner: PayPal

This company has caused me so much stress recently It wins the Official "Sturgeons Shitiest Company" award.

LONG story short, I sold an iPhone 3G on eBay. The money was instantly sent to my PayPal account but got frozen before I could withdraw it. PayPal said buyer might have been using a stolen credit card, but assured me because I had a tracking number I was covered with PayPal Seller Protection, meaning either way I would get my money.

After a week the money was unfrozen so I withdrew it assuming either it was fraud and I was paid by PayPal, or PayPal confirmed the buyer was not fraudulent.

A few weeks later the credit card company issued a chargeback which apparently isn't covered by Seller Protection. PayPal took the money straight out of my account leaving me with -£200 in there. They sent me running in circles phoning people to resolve it and eventually they just told me they were discussing it with the credit card company and they'd be back to me with a result after 72 days. Still waiting guys!

I figured that balance would stay the same until this was resolved but the scheming bastards withdrew the full balance when my $9.99 Dropbox monthly charge went through, putting me over my bank account overdraft limit.

Thanks to PayPal, selling my iPhone for £200 has currently cost me £350.


If you run a company that provides support, employ people that know what the hell they are talking about. If you're using a brainless drone you might as well just have pre-recorded responses with voice recognition answering complex technical problems. These guys haven't got a clue! Example, Me: "Does Virgin use DHCP or PPPoE settings?" Them: "Yes". Great!

If you work for a company that handles loans and finance, pay attention. Spell peoples names right and get their right fucking address on a contract. It REALLY can't be that hard.

If you work for PayPal, burn the office down and shoot yourself in the face.





So... we sold a cheese ( for charity (Children In Need) via an EBay Seller Account set up by EBay's charities department in the name of "Wedginald Cheddar" (the name of the cheese).

For the next year we received repeated, threatening emails, letters and phone-calls from PayPal for the princely sum of £17.32 - relating, apparently, to some 'Sellers Fees'.

Problem of course was that we couldn't settle the bill or even *discuss* the matter with them over the phone. They would only, we were told, speak to Mr Cheddar; Wedginald to his friends.

They would not speak to me, nor would they take on board the fact that Wedginald was a cheese, by now on his way to New Zealand. "I'm sorry sir but we will need to speak to Mr Cheddar" I was told.

Good going guys.

PayPal - proud patrons of the Midvale School for the Gifted.



I nominate Sky, who continued to bill my dead uncle, despite repeated letters explaining he had died and no longer needed their movies+sport package. They refused to stop charging his credit card, and once that was shut down tried to take the executors to counrt for the money, and (and this is the best bit), expecting my uncle to be there to. A dead man. In court. Excellent work boys.

Ildar Samit


@Jimbo Muahahahahahaha you just made my day :)

Petraeus Prime


It's really your own fault for dealing with paypal. I was screwed by them once for about $5 and that was all it took to realize they do not care about anything but getting your money. Actually that is the first rule of business, get the customer's money first and then fight with them tooth and nail to keep it from getting back to them.

Slough Survivor


Hands and feet above them all is LG
A workplace so oppressive even the furniture is depressed. Korean culture means no women in senior jobs at all, no one other than Koreans as senior management team, so CEO, CFO etc, not one single woman director. Many teams in LG Slough run on fear, fear of upsetting the Koreans as they just sack people or they vanish overnight, with pay offs.
Customer service does not exist and internally you cannot say the mobile or TV does not work or is rubbish even if it is, they cannot be seen to lose face and no one will complain to anyone more senior than them. Hence why they have no IPhone rival still.
The want to be number 1, yes number place not to work in the UK

Michael Wales


I completely agree with you on the Paypal thing. Had a client run a chargeback on me - I provided proof of the deliverables, proof that the code was up and running on the client's server, I did everything I could to prove this was a legit transaction. Luckily I had already withdrew the money from my Paypal account, that account is still sitting at -$2,400.

Paypal has an intermediary collections company, I guess before it goes to real collections. They called me demanding I pay them, I explained the situation to them, told them to kindly go fuck themselves, to only contact me by USPS from here on out and that a cease-and-desist letter will be mailed to them tomorrow via Certified mail. That was 8 months ago, I've yet to hear anything else from them. If/when I do, I'll say the same thing - they'll be lucky to get that $2,400 when I'm dead.

This is when I quit mainstream freelancing - everyone uses Paypal and I simply refuse. I still take a few jobs, here and there but they either pay by Credit Card (using Square on my phone) or personal check (and they have to wait on it to clear).

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